Sudden Intense Fast Heart Beating

Hearts' bounds [4/4]

Title: Hearts' bounds
Genre: angst, yaoi
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Disclaimer: these people do not belong to me, and though I belonged there I would live happily ever>. \u0026lt;
Notes: After 'is not a fanfiction ', I decided that I'd never written stuff that did not have a happy ending. Instead ... And we are falling back T_T
'divided into 4 parts, two from the perspective of Sho, two to Aiba. And the phrases found at the cone drawn from the song 'Desire' of the Baru and Yasu Kanjani8
Parties previous Part - Part - Part Three

"Shibatte ... de motto to mitsumetete
Ubatte ... in Kasane kuchibiru
Hanasanaide yowasete anatomic de ... kono mama "

" Tie me up with love ...
Steal me feel at my lips and bring them together ...
Do not let go and let me get drunk with you, just like this "

AIBA

I was stunned. I
the rain lashes, all over his face, and the perception of the razor-sharp Your body quickly walked next to me.
It sounds stupid, but it was then that I am aware of your body is falling apart.
Of course I knew you were a man. My mind knew it. Yet it was as we walked side by side that the swarming of my thoughts was clotted in front of that revelation.
were a boy. Male hands, lips, male, male body. The tone of voice.
A boy.
This certainty I would burst in my chest every time our elbows touched accidentally. My head was spinning.
Initially I really wanted to invite only at home, waiting for the storm pass, offer you something. But two seconds after we started walking, my mind could not conceive that the prospect of another touch.
Sho, the truth was that I had never crossed my mind to bring a guy home. Sure, I had often dreamed, but with the same state of mind with which lingers in every fantasy. Without any real conviction.
It's not that I fear: it was another world to peek through the keyhole, remaining anchored in the knowledge that I could not open that door. That my world was different.
With you, I lost all the coordinates.
It's funny looking back now, but then I had no idea what to invent to make you understand that you wanted. And I was not even certain that you were gay, I was interested in me.
you imagine the next day, laugh with your colleagues at the university.
"I can not believe, one of the members of your group?"
"Gay!"
"I'm telling you he has tried with me!"
"Incredible!" I did not realize
nothing. Neither you, nor myself, and the inexperience abysmal that I had accumulated.
But I did not care. My expectations at the time stopped when I pressed my lips on yours. After the world could also explode.
That you had pushed me away, you'd laugh at me, you'd be mad or you would have spoken softly compassionate. I did not care.
I wanted to kiss you, if only for a moment.
I felt as if I were to do something crazy and dangerous: the very thought made me dizzy.
And fuck, it was difficult. Difficult as it was after, always. Every time I tried to get close, every time I touch you and forces me to control myself, to choose the best time, not to look too immature.
I went to bed with so many people, Sho, you know. Yet the desire that I felt with you I never felt with anyone else. With all was different. With the other was like.
With you, it was also pain.
I've had many lovers, but I just loved you.
I'm in love with other people, and I still love you. Why
loved you first of all my unconsciousness, and then my weakness.
He loved the boy of twenty who did not know what it means to love someone. Want someone to play for both all in one breath.
I've never been brave. My courage is not to think, close your eyes and jump. Yet there was always dizzy, so much to make me lose my balance. You were apnea. Water.
For the first time I was ashamed to death of hellish chaos that reigned in my house. For once I wished a bigger house, more beautiful, as an adult. For you.
But I want to touch you just devastating. The panting for travel, clothes wet, the rain in my hair.

"Cazzocazzocazzo"
slamming doors. Looking askance.
Smile.
"Thunder"
"Yeah ..."
beating heart.
"I'm a. .. I'm going to get a towel "
" Thank You "
vertigo.
"I'll be right"
"Okay,"
Hold your breath ... and jump.

do not know where I found the strength to stop my steps that day. I only know that the world seemed to topple over when I turned and I well remember my clenched fists on your arms. Your mouth enveloped me.
was different from the fantasies, other than that I had exchanged kisses with the girls or the ones I had tasted in my sleep. Other than those I saw in the movies. Different, because my body evaporates on your tongue and was everywhere against the chest, neck, stomach as empty air chills and I trickled down my spine.
It was not romantic. It was not me. I was lost in one of your breaths, so that sometimes I think I'm still there.
clenched fists on your shirt even though it was obvious that I'd gone, and urges you on the bed without lucidity, driven entirely by instinct. I remember to have you devoured my lips, have you pulled off his pants with confused gestures of those reels to keep afloat. I remember having you bite too hard, have you touched with too much haste. But there was another time when I felt like I had my , Sho. Not even when I was the six seriously, when I learned to read the ripples of your face, even when the boredom was something more private.
Then, we were still innocent.
And not remember getting longer allowed to breathe your smell so thoroughly poisoned that I do not remember feeling more than pleased to hear from you and nothing else. There was no need to say anything, no pride to be protected. Only you. And me.
was probably the worst performance of my life, yet I never felt so man as when you came in me.
You know it always to be gay. But really discover what it means to be alone with sex, and in any other way. Need a male body against you, perceive both the strength and fragility. Educate yourself to the experience.
Perhaps the awareness of what is right that very afternoon, and the fact that you have played a crucial role so that he could not tie myself forever to you.
When it was over, you left when you fall on the mattress beside me, I realized that I was madly in love. Although it was early, even if he was mad. Although it made no sense, and you will probably have laughed and shook his head.
I have loved you.
There are things that I never said that afternoon, things that I think you did not even suspect. I'd begun to touch you just to go slower, for example. To convince you that I was really touching. Or I wish I had the courage to ask to stay with me all night. Find the courage to touch you slowly, to watch her sleep, hear you breathing.
But I did not do any of this.
And I told you I loved you because I had already guessed what would be the way I should go if you hope to reach you, I had learned while I kissed your lips and followed my own, and seconded my motion for leave space .
What you experience is always excited, and I was barely twenty years. The strength, my weakness and I still feel like me. The solidity. And I do not even now that I have grown closer and closer to thirty years. I've never been an adult, never quite stable.
Our original sin was sex: it was enough for a bite and we were already condemned.
keep watching, lying on your side, and I was happy as can be a kid. Unaware of all, lost in the beauty of the moment. Into the present. You
, amused, watching me. Are you astonished that I could be so enchanted by your hands.
did not understand. You could not understand.

'E' I spent that night, trying to remember the details "
" of my hands? "
" Mh "
hesitation.
"Do you ever think in pictures, Sho-kun?"
"Rarely. I am afraid to have a mathematical mind rather than "
" Yet, look at "
fingers interlaced backlight.
"Look ..."
Silence.
"Do you see the colors, the contrasts? Lines? "
" Lines? "
" You carved the bones I've ever seen. View knuckles ... "
Silence.
"And look at me, but ... tendons, the curves ... "

Sometimes I wanted to shout in his face, while disagreeing, or even whispered in his ear while we were making love.
Look at the curves.
Please look really, my body. Also force him.
You would not understand. And I do not know if you would understand now, Sho, the desperate, fearful that I need to turn their backs forever. Stop looking at his hands, to destroy all of your photography. And then laugh at myself for never being able to touch you if not with caresses, for failing to do anything but watch.
Watching you grow, live and begin to age.
Watching you tear his eyes change position. A thousand times. Change form. Without knowing what to show you, show me the same thing. What a photo shoot.
And then, at the end of everything, watching you leave.

"Tsuruta Yuku wa doko made demo ... anatagoto
Kitsuku Daku wa ... Atashi dake de yogasasete ... to de "

" I'll take you anywhere, all of you
I'll hold you tightly, I'll be the only one to mess you up with love "