Specialized Cross Roads

Wounds that can be healed [1/3]

Title: Wounds That Can Be Healed
Author: rosa_elefante
Group: Arashi
Characters: Aiba Masaki, Sakurai Sho
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Genre: yaoi, angst
Rating: PG
Warnings: sequel to Hearts' Bounds
Abstract: with Hearts' Bounds, were examined the thoughts of Sho and Aiba on their relationship, now ended. Here we return to the present, to see how they are living this break.
Notes: is divided into three parts: one for Sho, one for Aiba, and one for both. The sentences at the beginning of each part are from the song Aitakute Aitakute of Kana Nishino
Disclaimer: With my writing, published without any profit, I will not give true representation of the character of these people, or offend in any way

"'Shiawase ni Natte it' to
Kimi no mae ja otonabutte
Sonna koto kokoro no naka
omowa Zettai ni ja nai? "

" "I hope you'll find happiness"
I try to act like an adult in front of you inside my heart

But I Do not Feel That Way at all & rdquo ;

SHO

There are sounds that do not you ever get used.
No matter how many times you hear from them. How are deeply entwined with your past - a time of life that you can not forget - and in this, and nails driven into your life.
A phone that rings in the middle of the night is a scar that does not heal. A noise that penetrates the flesh - reopens - and pull the nerves.
It hurts deep down - early in the bones - and awakens all kinds of fears.
When he opens his eyes, think of Sho Aiba.
It's hard to feel strong after having experienced a sleepless night. The fatigue seems
tremble in every breath, every step. In any action to be taken, that becomes huge and heavy. In everything you see. That seems more distant.

sighs, and rings the bell of that enormous house that has seen him grow.
not feel ready to tackle ever - and goodness knows that only she is at home, otherwise there would never be gone.
And he knows it will never be ready, but maybe in a few week will have been able to cover everything - every nerve - rationalization of sufficient pain to fade. Perhaps the past few months, everything will not be so clear and loud. Maybe in a few years, nothing will do more harm.
sighed again as the door opens. Never stand in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, watching him, severely. Finally, you do see
! - Says moving away to get them into the empty house.
-days were quite full, between work and rest ...- he says.
His sister shook her head, before you embrace it. Several full-
, of course! - Ironically, but it is glad to see him is evident from the force with which it is running out. From the tenderness with which the abrupt changes hands on the hair: a single stroke, rapid, almost caress it is not.
Sho knows that dying to comment on his situation.
Never has something to say, after all, or would not be his sister and, above all, a woman .
For a moment, tried to sneak away from the conversation wondering Shu, work, whatever. But it would be cowardly, and even stupid: Never give better this time, to avoid later, the worst.
sits at the table with her, takes the glass of wine. So you've already
- find an apartment? - question his sister swallowed the first sip. Almost absent-mindedly.
Even that is characteristic of him: any discussion must address, it always takes a long distance. Sho knows that it takes a bit of caution.
nods.
Yes, for now. But there is nothing definitive.
The woman looks at him, unconvinced.
-This house is always open, you know. Not good for you to be alone at this time. The
glances annoyance.
-I am not ill, Mai - replies dryly - Not in mourning. They are simply gone to live somewhere else.
-Right. Alone - remarked the other, raising an eyebrow.
It's no secret what he is implying.
In seven years, Sho does not understand what there is, in Aiba, able to make it so upsetting. Puffs, leaning back in his chair. "Maybe I need it, you think? I have to make clear a bit 'of things. And I can not do it if I were all around.
His sister is confined to secure it. And Sho realizes that it is absurd, but even if he is the greater, is not much more mature than when he was ten years, when Mai has that look. When
shakes his head in that way.
The name of Masaki, on his lips, is divided into sounds completely different from those that Sho is used.
His sister has always had the curious ability to make strangers even more familiar words.
-I am sorry for how things went, Sho - Never back supports the back of the chair. The spinning glass of wine between his fingers, as she says, without looking, but I am convinced that it was good after all. Aiba-kun and you're too different, and that sort of relationship you had was not at all healthy.
-Look at the kind of relationship is not over yet, eh-specific Sho - We are by assessing whether it is appropriate to make some changes. That's it. E-
your curious conception of what a relationship between two people is one of these, I hope.
She bites his tongue-may. To a certain extent.
And Never smiles. It does not even need words to say, "I told you." Just smile. Done that.
and deep sense of relief that despite everything you hear in his voice when he says, floor-is. It seems to me a great idea.
-not an idea, Mai - replies annoyed - is simply to bring a report to their emotional growth. When we started we were kids.
-The point is that some people never ceases to be, Sho.
-The point is that this is also the fascination of some people.
-Yeah. - Never pour more wine. Calmly.
Sho sighed, closing her eyes-then you wonder if I've been avoiding for weeks to meet you.
-E 'that you finally made the right choice, Sho. To leave. The way I see it there is nothing to judge, and I wish you were not attempting to retrace your steps. If a relationship has not worked in seven years will never work. Aiba-san has always been too immature for you.
- Either I am too immature for him. There are faults, Mai. And you're biased against him. Just because in twenty years we decided that we could be together and he has refused. Never
shakes his head in front of his growing irritation. I'm not giving
-blame anyone. In a story, especially one that has the other person gives you. And I'm sure you have your reasons for still being tied to Aiba-san, after all these years. Just as he is bound to you. - Resting the glass on the table to look at the watch on the wrist-which, however, so again tonight, ok? Now I have to go to work. Much remains to dinner, right? He shakes his
head, nervously.
-I do not know, never. I'm busy, really.
While out of the house, never reflects that wants nothing more than his own good.
He always knew, since he was a kid.
Even when my stomach felt tight the anxiety of having to rely on his secret to the younger sister who seemed much more mature than him, he knew that, whatever was his reaction would be dictated only by love. And fear, inability to understand, perhaps. But with love, always.
Now, many years later, she realizes that everything turned out for the best. Could not ask for more, by Mai, who has already asked a lot.
But sometimes the feeling is not what he expected his sister. And it is a bitter suspicion, vague ... that has nothing to do with mutual disappointment that binds him to his parents. What divides them. Something sweet, however: a misunderstanding needed, cemented by affection.
But still a vacuum.
And perhaps, you also feel the emptiness inside.

Outside the street is dark.
has a strange way to welcome the evening, the neighborhood: Sho has always thought.
By dint of living there you get used to, but looking at it with eyes an alien is different. Feel more details.
Masaki has always hated.
There was impatience in him deep into the stillness. Towards that discretion. Like a spider web that closed the loopholes.
Moreover, Sho can not imagine a more different from Aiba. He knows
appreciate it instead. The rest. Join
studio that has just rented. Perfectly ordered. Aseptic and too empty.
not used to being alone, Sho. He does not remember ever having spent a long period in the company of himself.
friends once joked, saying that we should be careful and keep up with him, studying because he lost track of time. It would be too easy for him, left at the mercy of his books and his thoughts, lose contact with the world.
will be charged to hear the sound of the arrival of an email. The opening is by Nino.
widened his eyes sometimes wonders if his friend to do it on purpose, or if his own is simply a bad timing. Aiba
can call to tell him that tomorrow morning we start an hour later?
I can not contact him or his manager, not to mention the other two.
I would do, but are about to start shooting.
Thanks.
could simply send him an email, Sho thinks with irritation. But
knows what his friends wish that the two of them have at least a minimum of dialogue. For the good of the group.
And their friendship that has lasted more than a decade. The awareness of having to call
Aiba gradually comes up to stop the heart. Swallows, thinking it might just send him an email. To work is easy because everyone is there. Now it is not at all.
has done a lot for today - have done enough. And spent a night in hell: he needs to rest for the carburetor. Rest, and warm blankets up over his chin. Since the ears. A close out of the silence that makes you feel even stronger without him.
takes a deep breath, however, and extends his hand to dial a number.
Until two months ago, that was the home number.
is destabilizing time, press the same digit and ask if hurt.
feel a twinge in my stomach to think that there is something disturbing. Someone. Aiba
I wonder if it will be at home, then.
-Hey. Answer
destabilizing. Item relaxed and serene. Another world.
Masaki.
He closes his eyes. Breathe.
-Hello. It's me.
The silence seems to beat like a drum in your ear. Temple.
-Hello- Aiba's voice finally said, but now it's a different voice. More tense. Lower.
-Sorry if I'm at this, but ...
The voice stops. It's strange, talk Aiba, as well.
can almost imagine it, Aiba. Standing next to the phone, frowning. The term that always when on the defensive.
And he asks, once again, as we have done to come to this situation.
The tone of voice, meanwhile, has changed again.
now is vaguely alarmed. Just warmer.
-okay?
nods.
Yes, yes. It was just a message from Nino, for tomorrow ...
seems almost normal to give that information to work. As if it were nothing but two colleagues.
Sho smiles, and the temptation to tell him I love him for a second burn on the tip of the tongue, as the need to kiss him. And yet talk of other things, to return those once. Them. Cala
silence. Sho feels that the call is about to end.
But Aiba speaks again.
-Oh, I decided to learn to play the drums.
-Ah.
does not understand what this has to do with him, but does not tell him.
-I 've also bought. Just ... I guess I'll remove your studio for a place for her, Sho ...- says finally, almost too softly.
And he stops. Because it's as if only now all become true. Definitive.
after two months. Masaki
unmount his studio. He ammucchierà books in his studio, or somewhere else. Masaki
continue to live in her apartment. He will have to invent something.
is now coming hours.
-Yes, certainly. - Answered, wondering if the break was long when he perceived him. If the hesitation has been felt. If Aiba Can you imagine standing on that empty apartment, as he unable to view their stay. And her beautiful face, no smile. -Then I'll have to pick up some books.
-Do Not Disturb, you can bring them to work. You need not come this far.
He nods, relieved.
Yes, it is better. I'll get a list of the most urgent ... for others there will be time.
It would not have wanted to say.
do not need things to make everything more real.
The relief of not having to meet in private is already turning into pain.
-Perfect - the voice in the handset is really cold. Far-nothin 'else?
-No-Sho shakes his head and Goodnight.
-Goodnight, Sho.
Her breath, a moment longer, then the sound of broken communication.
tone, to hurt your ears.
He lowers the phone, go back to lean against the wall.
The silence around her is more dense and oppressive than before.
And Sho knows, that cover the ears with the blankets will not be enough to make it sweeter.
Not tonight, not ever.